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Monday, June 20, 2005

Death to Gaydar

Gay or Straight? Hard to Tell - New York Times: "'It's easier for gay men to come out of the closet as slobs, just as it's easier for straight men to be dandies,' said Brendan Lemon, the editor of Out, the gay men's magazine. 'One of the things that's breaking down how gay guys are seen is that people know more kinds of men who are gay, nonstereotypical ones like soldiers and athletes rather than stylists and fashion designers and decorators.' "
I am increasingly annoyed by the concept that one can look at a person and know if they are gay. Is that any different from pasting on a pink triangle, black triangle or yellow star? Oh, I know there are some people who are advertising their personhood via some externality that makes sure you know. But in most cases, you can't tell. I can't tell. Only the person knows and if they choose to tell you or communicate their personhood in some way, this is an honor to you. And does it really matter? I think we should treat all people with respect. Be friends with people to whom you are attracted. Fall in love with whom you will. Stop deciding who someone is based on something as trivial as the sort of clothes that make them feel happy.

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